by Stephanie Logan
(Part 6. New readers can click here to start at the beginning of the story.)
Caleb gave me permission to share this story back in 2020. Obviously, I thought about it for quite some time. I wanted to handle it honestly and faithfully. There is so much more that I could share and perhaps will, but these six entries are what I thought were most important to express my experience of going from a fundamentalist, evangelical perspective to that of an affirming parent. My breaking away from that evangelical perspective before I faced Caleb’s coming out helped me to work through the experience – I know that for sure. I had a good foundation to build my clearer thinking on.
But I envy parents that never have that challenge. I envy parents who grow up progressively and affirming or completely secular. I envy those who might have attended a church or temple or synagogue that maintained a more simple, traditional faith system. But even then, the life of the parent of an LGBTQ+ kid isn’t simple because our kids’ lives aren’t simple.
Suicidal ideation and attempted suicide are higher among LGBTQ+ youth than the general population. Eating disorders and self-harm are higher among LGBTQ+ youth than the general population. The experience of depression and anxiety and body dysphoria are high among LGBTQ+ youth. Bigotry and anti-LGBTQ+ propaganda and the creation of oppressive laws is rampant across a broad spectrum of society. And, though inroads have been made in understanding and acceptance, our kids can still be in danger simply for existing. Even if our home environment is good for them, life in the world can be very difficult.
And then there are those kids who have no support. There are kids whose own parents kick them out or drive them off by their cruel behavior. Homelessness among LGBTQ+ youth is higher than among the general population and they are in great danger of trafficking, addiction, and disease.
As I have grown in my understanding, I have taken opportunities to change the way I respond to social issues, political movements, and in my work. I have been able to give to organizations that serve and protect LGBTQ+ youths and their parents. I have been able to train to help those I work with who are in the LGBTQ+ community. And I have learned how to identify myself quietly and subtly as a safe person because I live in a region where conservatism and the Christian Right dominate the culture.
Below, I have included some resource links. They are just a starting point for those who are willing to learn. Some are just safe havens for those who need a space to grow and be. I do not receive anything for promoting them.
If the story I have written in these entries might help someone you know, then please feel free to share.
You can follow me here on WordPress or on Facebook as I continue to write about my life and perspectives. If you want to get in touch, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
All my love and mama bear hugs.
The Trevor Project
Recent Trevor Project Data
Trevor Project Hotline
Mama Bears’ Liz Dyer on Facebook
PBS Independent Lens Two-spirits Map
A Queer History of the United States
APA’s History of LGBTQ Social Movements
For Christian Believers:
Former Evangelical homeschool mom and one-time missionary and pastor’s wife, Stephanie Logan, aka Snicklefritz, writes from her life story and four decades of experience in the evangelical movement. Her views and stories are her own.
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